Safety - Hard Hat Exemption Program
In our continuing efforts to encourage a progressive safety program, (insert co. name) would
like to announce a unique policy benefiting all employees, our "Hard Hat Exemption
Program". If you are one of those hardheaded individuals that wants to let your hair blow
in the breeze, who feels a hardhat shortens his/her neck, and that in general, it is just a
pain in the posterior, this program is for you. It is (insert co. name) long-standing policy that
hardhats must be worn at all times on our construction projects, in the shop and in our
quarry's. But if you earn a certificate of exemption you will be excused from this
requirement.
The program works like this, if your head meets the standards for head protection,
you don't need a hardhat. Contact any member of the Safety Department to be
scheduled for testing at the earliest possible date. Upon successful completion of
testing, you will receive a beautiful embossed certificate, suitable for framing, identifying
your head as conforming to American National Standards Institute requirements (ANSI
x89.1 and Z89 classes A-D). You will also receive a wallet-sized card to carry with you at
all times. The tests include the following:
* You will undergo a 24-hour water immersion test. A maximum of
permitted absorption is 0.5% by weight. Air will be provided for the 24 hours at no charge.
* Next, an impact test will be conducted. While lying horizontally, with
your head resting on a steel plate, an 8lb steel ball will be dropped
on it several times from a height of 5ft. If your head is not damaged,
you pass.
* Next, your head will be subjected to the application of a variety of
acids, solvents, oils and industrial gases. It must pass with no
damage or deficiencies.
* A propane torch will be used to determine if you head is fire
resistant. If your head proves to be slow burning, you may only
achieve a Class A or B rating. If there are any holes in your head, it
will restrict you from a Class A rating.
* On the final test, you must sustain 2200 volts AC, 60Hz for three
minutes with leakage currents not to exceed 9-milli amperes.
Breakdown threshold will be established at 30,000 volts.
* All test must be conducted at a variety of temperatures ranging from -20 degrees to 140 degrees Fahrenheit.
If you feel that you cant possibly qualify, don't despair. Although not as pretty as your
hairdo, your hardhat does provide protection for your head from all of the above.
Remember that unless you receive an exemption certificate, you MUST continue
wearing your hardhat. Not wearing one is a privilege that will be granted only to
those with proper certification and designated as genuine HARD HEADS!
Spouse's Affidavit
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I, _____________________________, hereby authorize my spouse to work without wearing gloves, hard hat, goggles, safety shoes or any other safety equipment, and hereby promise that I will without complaint, perform the following duties in case he/she is blinded or crippled:
1. Lead him/her wherever he wants to go.
2. Help him/her dress and eat.
3. Describe the scenery to him/her on our vacations.
4. Read to him/her instead of watching television.
5. Describe the way the children's eyes light up at Christmas and what their graduations and weddings are like.
6. Teach him/her to do housework so I can get a job to support our family.
7. Do all the work around the yard and garage that he/she used to do.
8. Teach our little boy how to play ball, build model airplanes, fish and hunt.
____________________________________
(Spouse)
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NICE. . . . I sent these too my safety manager friend, I'm sure he'll get a kick out of them. Reminds me of a Hawaiin welder I had one time, he used to SMAW weld in a T-shirt!!!! As well as GTAW and everything else. He told me everybody does it like that it the islands bra!! I informed him that he was no longer in the islands and tryed to enlighten him as to the risks from exposure like skin cancer etc. But I think he still thought I was kinda out there. I mean I don't wear anything but a heavy shirt most of the time but a t shirt is a little to macho for me.
Glad you enjoyed them. Funny thing is there are probably people out there that would line up for the test with the signed affidavit in hand. LOL
When I was a welding instructor in a structural steel shop, HR used to send all the new hires to me without proper clothing. I warned them repeatedly, but the macho types would show up in just a t shirt. Most of them were prison parolees since we had a special program going with the governor and state prison. I would tell them not to weld, but they would say "I'll be ok". Then they would get arc burn and learn their lesson.
Top 10 List of how you can tell if your OSHA inspection is going badly...
10. OSHA sets up temporary housing in your parking lot.
9. The Compliance Officer mutters, "This is unbelievable" each time he or she enters a different department.
8. OSHA calls in a professional film crew to document conditions in the plant and a reporter from "60 Minutes" tags along.
7. The Compliance Officer insists on wearing a moon suit supplied with SCBA, while your employees work in jeans and tennis shoes.
6. The Congressman you called for help won't return your call, but he does return your campaign contribution.
5. The Compliance Officer begins the opening conference with the following: "You have the right to remain silent..."
4. The Compliance Officer asks you a specific question about a report in your files, but you haven't turned any over yet.
3. The Compliance Officer knows each of your employees by their first name.
2. The Compliance Officer is a former employee that you fired.
1. Joe Dear conducts the closing conference.
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