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Up Topic Chit-Chat & Non-Welding Discussion / Off-Topic Bar and Grill / Good time to be a contractor ?
- - By FixaLinc (****) Date 02-18-2009 20:49
Stimulus plan explainded:

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.
One is from Chicago , another is from Tennessee , and the third is from Minnesota .
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,
"I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the
White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other
guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we
hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official.
And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.
Parent - - By OBrien (***) Date 02-18-2009 23:33
Shoot I'll bid it for 50million him and I will both be really rich.
Parent - - By up-ten (***) Date 02-19-2009 00:06
Ahhh, and that's how America is built!  And yet its so simple!!
Parent - By michael kniolek (***) Date 02-21-2009 13:59
i dont agree on "thats how the county was built"
MY opinion on how this contry was built is this....
i think the people who worked so hard to build this country back in the day earned what they had and when they did not HAVE they found a way to get it without help from the feds.
People didnt steal trick or scam thiere way to a better life.

but today ...............stealing tax monies is common practice.
Parent - - By Cumminsguy71 (*****) Date 02-21-2009 00:51
LMFAO!!! Thats the truth!!
Parent - - By Cumminsguy71 (*****) Date 02-21-2009 00:57
heres another from my Uncle...

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to a destitute refugee claimant outside a Maryland immigration office.

' Good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been sent here by President Obama and told to grant you three wishes, since you just arrived in the United States with your wife and three children.'

The man told the fairy. 'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them..'

The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and -- PING ! -- He had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more to go.'

The refugee claimant now got bolder.  'I need a big house with a three car garage in Annapolis on the water with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives who still live in my country.  I want to bring them all over here..PING ! -

In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ in an upscale neighborhood overlooking the bay.

'One more wish', said the fairy, waving her wand.  'Yes, one more wish.

I want to be like an American with American clothes instead of these torn cloths, and a baseball cap instead of this turban. And I want to have white skin like Americans.  PING ! -

The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.

'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed.  'Where is my new house?'

THE RESPONSE.

The fairy said 'Tough ****, Mac, Now that you are a White American, you have to fend for yourself.'

And she disappeared.

Kinda heart-warmin', ain't it?
Parent - By raftergwelding (*****) Date 02-21-2009 02:48
if it would only actually happen that way
Parent - - By FixaLinc (****) Date 02-21-2009 20:42
Sad and too true.  I was going to Mexico for dental work till those nuts broke out fighting :( 
Parent - - By raftergwelding (*****) Date 03-02-2009 07:25
i got some pliers and vice grips i can fix them teeth for ya
Parent - By FixaLinc (****) Date 03-02-2009 19:45
We'll need more than that to pull mine or go down there next time lol. 
Up Topic Chit-Chat & Non-Welding Discussion / Off-Topic Bar and Grill / Good time to be a contractor ?

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