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Up Topic Chit-Chat & Non-Welding Discussion / Off-Topic Bar and Grill / The Man Rules!!!
- - By ssbn727 (*****) Date 08-19-2009 06:06
I know that this has more than likely been posted before but ,since it was so funny the las time I read it, I just thought it would be funny enough to post in here once again! ;)

The Man Rules!!!
I have taken the time to write this all down:

Finally,the guys' side of the story.
(You must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear 'the rules' From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are the rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1"  ON PURPOSE!!!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon, or the changing of the tides... Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topic such as: Football, Baseball, or Basketball.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh! ;) Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!! :) :) :)

Respectfully,
Henry
Parent - By BryonLewis (****) Date 08-19-2009 11:30
No sh*t!!!

1.  I don't know which shoes goes with that shirt.  Wear one of each.  I don't care.

2.  I know its your work's Christmas party and I'm not getting dressed up, because when I do get dressed up at my events you wonder who I'm trying to impress.

3.  Contrary to what Cosmo says, there are not 101 Ways to Please Your Man.  THERE ARE ONLY 3.  FOOD, SEX AND SILENCE.  So make me a sandwich, give me some ***** then leave me alone because the football game starts at noon!!!!!

There will be some more, but I need to wake up first.
Up Topic Chit-Chat & Non-Welding Discussion / Off-Topic Bar and Grill / The Man Rules!!!

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