Dear

> President Obama,
>
> I'm planning to move my family and extended
> family into Mexico
> for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist
> me.
> We're planning to simply walk across the border

> from the U.S.
> into Mexico
> , and we'll need your help to make a few
> arrangements.
>
> We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas,
> passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure

> they handle those things the same way you do here.
> So, would you mind telling your buddy, President
> Calderon, that I'm on my way over?
>
> Please let him know that I will be expecting the

> following:
>
> 1. Free medical care for my entire family.
>
>
> 2.
> English-speaking government bureaucrats for all
> services I might need, whether I use them or

> not.
>
> 3.
> Please print all Mexican government forms in
> English.
>
> 4.
> I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by
> English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

>
> 5.
> Tell their schools they need to include classes on
> American culture and history..
>
> 6.
> I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one of
> the flag poles at their school.

>
> 7.
> Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both
> breakfast and lunch.
>
> 8.
> I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I
> can get easy access to government services.

>
> 9.
> I do plan to get a car and drive in
> Mexico
> , but, I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and
> I probably won't make any special effort to learn
> local traffic laws.

>
> 10.
> In case one of the Mexican police officers does not
> get the memo from their president to leave me alone,
> please be sure that every patrol car has at least one
> English-speaking officer.

>
> 11.
> I plan to fly the U.S.
> flag from my house top, put U S. flag decals on my
> car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do
> not want any complaints or negative comments from the

> locals.
>
> 12.
> I would also like to have a nice job without paying
> any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on
> any business I may start.
>
> 13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican

> people to be extremely nice and never say critical
> things about me or my family, or about the strain we
> might place on their economy.
>
> 14. I want to
> receive free food stamps.

>
> 15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
>
> 16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I
> don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money from
> the government.

>
> 17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't
> pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.
>
> 18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free
> into the Mexican Social Security program so that

> I'll get a monthly income in retirement.
>
> I know this is an easy request because you already do
> all these things for all his people who walk over to
> the U.S.
> from Mexico

> . I am sure that President Calderon won't mind
> returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
>
> Thank you so much for your kind help. You're the
> man!!

This was blatantly stolen from an email and will never happen.