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Up Topic Chit-Chat & Non-Welding Discussion / Off-Topic Bar and Grill / The death of a welding inspector
- - By SWN1158 (***) Date 03-12-2019 14:21
POLICE INVESTIGATE DEATH OF A WELDING INSPECTOR 
   
Event called "not surprising" by a structural steel fabrication supervisor after the inspector rejected "One Weld Too Many"

Associated Press 
   
San Bernadino, California

A Quality Control Welding Inspector was found dead inside a box column after an angry mob of welders wrapped him in preheat blankets and baked him at 1200°.  He was then welded into a twenty ton box column destined for the San Diego Airport.  The Coroner has been unable to determine from the charred remains if the inspector expired from suffocation, heat, or excessive nit picking.

Witnesses have stated that the inspector seems to have asked the welders to grind out welds once too often... "He just made them mad; and I think their actions were justified", stated one of the witnesses. Police are working with the District Attorney to determine if charges should be filed.  A spokesperson for the D.A.'s office said that "currently there are no laws protecting the safety of welding inspectors, and besides that, who really gives a crap".
     
"We're all fair game" says Warren Johnson, the supervisor of the ill-fated inspector.  "Right now, it's just one of those things that comes with the exciting     
world of weld inspection". "Sometimes the welders feel better after they take out an inspector. Things do smooth out for a while, but we'll still have        
another guy rejecting welds as soon as the funeral service is over.     

The incident appears to have been discovered by chance, as nobody missed the inspector after he disappeared over a week ago.  An ultrasonic inspector performing shear wave inspection with a longitudinal transducer picked up an unusual sound wave pattern from inside the box column.  "It looked to me like either a pocket of slag, a lack of fusion, a crack, a lack of penetration, or trash", stated the UT inspector.  "This UT stuff baffles me but this goes to show you that we can still find stuff even if it's by sheer luck and chance."

The grieving widow could only wonder what happened and more importantly, whether he was still being paid... "After all, he was still at work" said his voluptuous wife who was warmly comforted by anybody she could find. "I'll never forget what's his name" were the words this writer will always remember. 

Funeral services are pending, but it was widely known that the deceased wanted to be buried with the tools of his trade: his flashlight, his fillet weld gage, his assortment of magnifying glasses, and an unused copy of the AWS Structural Welding Code. He'll be sorely missed. Said no one. Ever.
Parent - By jwright650 (*****) Date 03-12-2019 16:52
Yikes :eek:
Parent - By WeldinFool (**) Date 03-22-2019 18:10
Here's another one for you, this was an actual post on this very forum back in 2012:

Excuse me, but as the argument has been made that trained monkeys could be taught the requisite skill set as welders I feel the neccesity to take issue.  The small business endeavor I undertake to run profitably operates on slim margins and we are constantly seeking more efficient means to enlarge those margins.  As labor is the highest cost of goods sold, at a certain point in our history we attempted to decrease this burden with cheaper labor.  Why NOT monkeys we asked ourselves.  The housing, upkeep, payrate and feeding should be minimal.  Extensive testing was undertaken.

By chance our first set of candidates were a small clan of Spider monkeys acquired from a South East Asian Zoo from a purchasing agent willing to overlook certain standards of importation documentation.  These fine animals seemed promising at first, with their pre-hensile abilities they were able to hang from nearly any point of purchase and weld soundly.  Unfortunately hanging upside down was their preferred position of comfort, so while they could and did produce many xray quality weldments for us we found ulitmately the cost of positioning equipment too expensive and they had to be let go.  I believe they have found more suitable employment somewhere in the southern states repairing waffle making machinery.

We next undertook the training of a pair of adult, male Howler monkeys, provided us through a freind from the Yucatan Penninsula that came already certified in no less than three welding processes.  Superb craftsman.  One couldn't fault their work based on the most stringent codes or standards.  But the noise.......... my god the noise.  Three different TPIs needed hospitalization and a long respite to the local State Facility for nervous conditions after only a week of inspection.  We thought it cheaper to replace the inspectors but in the end the neighbors started complaining so our Howlers went home to their beloved jungle.  We do miss them sorely.

We took a shot and found a promising Baboon.  Or so we thought.  Fancy hood, starched collar, spanking new rig, but really, who want's to put up with that Golden Arm Attitude.  We cut him a pink slip pronto.

Not ones to give up, we moved on to the Apes.

Gorrilas seemed like they might strain our overhead but the applicants seemed enthusiastic so we thought, "why not".  We do a fair amount of bending in our fabrication and these three fellows seemed right at home, strapping our heaviest members to be formed across their chests and gripping for leverage with their formidable triceps pulled 3" round stock into circles.  Very aggresive work ethic. They competed with each other shamelessly for the largest iron and tightest bend radii but in the end they never could quite grasp the concept of tolerances so for them the bending was enough.  Surprisingly good stick welders though.  Nothing like the solidity of a large mass to provide a really steady hand.  There was some discussion about who's responsibility it was to inform them their service would no longer be needed.  I recall we drew straw.  They were pretty good natured about.

The next and most obvious choice, which we slapped ourselves for not thinking of first was Chimpanzees.  It seemed so obvious with their overwhelming shared genetics, should be a shoe in.  Calls were made, contacts contacted, letters dispatched, funds exchanged hands and one fine crisp October morning our boys showed up, hoods and gloves in hand and doing somersaults on the asphalt, that's how ready they were.  Into the test booth, 6" stick all the way out, 35 minutes later bending coupons without failure.  Back into the booths, tig roots, lo-hy out and they're slapping their thighs with one hand and a toe hold on the filler wire with their foot and indicating it was time for lunch.  This was our first red flag and we should have paid heed but we were beggining to be really excited at the possiblitites, so we pushed them into some alloy work.  Some of the original enthusiasm seemed to cool but they began to prep coupons....... and then that was it.  Prepped em, and just let em sit, looking around out of the corners of their simian eyes and just scowling.  When we tried to communicate the urgency of finishing their testing so they could go to work they just rolled their lips and showed their teeth.  Food was brought in.  Baskets of fresh pineapple, yellow bananas, ripe mangoes but to no avail.  Apparantly these chimps had worked some gigs that paid serious per diem or maybe just permits with 798 but they weren't having any of it.  Conditions just degraded from there and we never bothered to put them on.

Finally, at wits end, an Orangatang answered our employment advertisement.  He carried a calculator with him which we thought boded well and was extraordinarally humble in demeanor.  Breezed through a barrage of testing with all coupon passing with flying colors.  Put him to work on any station in the shop and there seemed nothing he hadn't brought a journeymans skill to.  But......he was just so moribund.  Depressing really.  Does a fine job bending up a pallet of flanges on the brake, the compliments just seemed to fall on deaf ears.  Weld out 90 inches of xray sched 40 in a shift and the praise garnered just seem to depress him.  Morale was sinking with the other hands, not from jealousy but the new guy was just bringing people down with his glumness.  Just reeked of sadness, tragedy and sorrow.  We didn't want to cut him loose but one bad orange can ruin the barrel.

In the end we decided there was really only so much you could teach a monkey but we did at least make that decision through experience not assumption.
- - By LToca85 (**) Date 03-12-2019 14:42
(Sitting in silence, not knowing how to respond)
Parent - - By SWN1158 (***) Date 03-13-2019 11:34
Man... this is a tough room :smile:
Parent - By jwright650 (*****) Date 03-13-2019 11:53
well, that UT stuff baffles me too....LOL
Parent - - By LToca85 (**) Date 03-13-2019 16:51
Wasn't really sure if it was satire or a real story lol
Parent - - By SWN1158 (***) Date 03-13-2019 18:40
This funny article has been around for a few years, so I thought I'd share it.
Parent - - By mcostello (**) Date 03-14-2019 02:43
If He had seen My welds He would just keel over with out any help.
Parent - - By Tommyjoking (****) Date 03-22-2019 01:49
Yea I killed him....he deserved it.  He eyeballed me funny after I laid a root on some moment welds....sorry F###er!
Parent - - By SWN1158 (***) Date 03-22-2019 15:27
"Mercy killing" is defined as the intentional ending of the life of a person suffering from an incurable or painful disease.
Parent - - By Tyrone (***) Date 03-25-2019 12:54
Thanks Scott,
Reading the article put a smile on my face.  The monkey one is good too.
Parent - By SWN1158 (***) Date 03-25-2019 13:00
You're very welcome.
Up Topic Chit-Chat & Non-Welding Discussion / Off-Topic Bar and Grill / The death of a welding inspector

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