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Up Topic Welding Industry / General Welding Discussion / Meaning of a GOOD welder helper (for fun)
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- - By gatorofarkansas (*) Date 04-14-2009 18:37
OK ya`ll don`t take this TOO serious. Basic meaning; the welder is always right (REGARDLESS),with no mud,dust or foreign objects to be found on said welder (except fire). Put out when asked to. Please include any others that may be important ( to welder of course ) LOL
Parent - - By jrw159 (*****) Date 04-14-2009 19:40
UP TEN!!! LOL
Parent - - By scrappywelds (***) Date 04-14-2009 23:49
make sure to drag and hang those leads close enough to the work that my stinger will reach.

carry this 200' lead up to the tenth floor because the elevator was down.

hand me another rod, while you are there chip and brush that weld.

put your knee right here so I can use it as a back brace.

you put the rod in for me my gloves are getting wet from all the sweating I'm doing.

cut my wire at 18" and put it in my pouch.

walk to the rod room and get me so more rods (half mile away)

when you aren't busy being the fitter's helper you help me.

I HAVE HEARD EVERY ONE OF THESE WHEN I WAS A HELPER
Parent - - By stanantonio Date 04-15-2009 01:45 Edited 04-15-2009 01:47
slap fricken rod in my hand.

Don't just wire wheel the weld. Wire wheel from paint to paint.(I know some of you know what I am talking about and some may not)

Camon you Sissy.  We only have drank 22 beers and its on only 9pm  we got aleast another 15 to go.

Hey Helper( I usually call them by their real name, it starts with a B.)  Lend me a 60 I will catch you later this evening.

Man can you help me out the flux capasitor just broke on my welding machine and I need a can of arcstart

You missed a spott on the bottom

Hey  man I know I brought  you here to the job.  But it looks like you have been working hard all day and your dirty.  So I am gonna help you cool off.. You can ride in the very back.

hey B whats your girls number. We or I should call her and invite her out.  LOL Just kidding.. well maybe

up 5 ,down 5. Up 10 down ,2 and a half. Up 3 quarters. Man its all good.   I am just hot passing

Hey Scrappy  have you ever had this one put on you.  Clean out my truck while we are waiting on this tie in.  I had a helper one time who I asked to help organize my truck while we were waiting and he said not no but hell no.  At the end of the day I guess he thought I was I was gonna take him home. Like normall.  Well that day he walked three miles to the nearest road and hitch hiked
Parent - By okwelder82 (***) Date 04-15-2009 03:19
I had a Hell of a time getting mine to wire wheel from coating to coating. I had to give him the ole "Your sole purpose in life is to make sure I have a rod in my hand" Speech. Your Flux Capasitor went out to? Dang those thing.
Parent - By scrappywelds (***) Date 04-15-2009 20:45
never pipelined myself, I have done alot of underground air and gas station. All in the plant, though I think I'd like it alot. Maybe one day.
Parent - By JHarlos (**) Date 04-15-2009 01:24
Go get me another clear lens and more rods..... oh yeah also a bottle of water, a candy bar, another can of snuff, and plug my phone charger up.
Parent - - By pipelinetrash23 (**) Date 04-15-2009 02:23
ok i am a welder helper, and i think its funny how welders think... If you want a good helper you better take care of the helper. Buy him a sausage egg chesse biscuit, and orange juice. help him carry stuff down in the bell hole if doing tie ins, keep water on truck, oh yea and keep umbrella handy for welder helper.... 
Parent - - By ZCat (***) Date 04-15-2009 04:10
If I was to tell y'all what me and my 21 year old female helper used to do on the job I would get in trouble. She was the best helper I ever had. :)
Parent - - By 250pipeliner (**) Date 04-15-2009 06:27
i usually tell my helpers this:
theres days that i like you, you can ride in the front.

theres days im mad at you, you ride the tailgait.

theres days i hate you, walk to the next joint.

then theres the day we're friends again, your on your way home with 2 checks.

nah, i always treat my helpers gud until they mess up my truck. i was my dads helper for 2yrs and it was the worst time ever, everyday go to work with him then go home and hear about everything i did wrong that day. 2 long yrs. but that was my motivation to learn how to weld and get away. theres nothing like oldschool fist of iron my way or the highway attitude to put a boot in your ass to get you learn.
Parent - - By gatorofarkansas (*) Date 04-15-2009 11:09
Have ya heard this one, Stop moving the sun is blinding me. First time I heard that kinda wondered if he was serious till I had it happen to me. Hand me that file and some mud and keep an eye out for that darn inspector. REPAIR, I told that frickin` helper to grind that better, OH my bad, lack of fussion I thought you said slag line ( well of couse never actually heard them say MY BAD ). This is one of my favorites, you need to buff them welds and roll up faster I`m tired of seeing the other welders waiting on you to move up, just love that one. Man these rods are wet stop sweating on them.And of course this one, one day you`ll understand why I`m so hard on you so cab up and get out of the rain......Keep`em comin` I`m sure there are more LOL.
Parent - - By jrw159 (*****) Date 04-15-2009 12:26
"Off yer ass and on yer feet, if you don't work, you don't eat!" :-)
Parent - - By gatorofarkansas (*) Date 04-15-2009 13:33
NO I don`t need to strip the side. Low cap!? I knew WE should have filled that more. Always funny when mistakes are because the darn helper did not do his job.Hey! hand me a spacing tool aw never mind I`ll just burn it in, IP ( insufficient penetration ) no way! Next time help that fitter and watch for high/low dammit... To me we all have fun in what we do.....amen....oh sh1t....down...down...down...dammit you ground that to deep.Helpers are human too, till they break out now that`s funny. Love this type of work
Parent - - By makeithot (***) Date 04-15-2009 19:14
Hey bud if ya can't smoke and work your gonna have'ta give up smoking.
Parent - - By jrw159 (*****) Date 04-15-2009 19:25
You almost had my next one. LOL

"If you can't work and talk at the same time, SHUT THE F**K UP!"

jrw159 :-)
Parent - - By gatorofarkansas (*) Date 04-16-2009 03:05
Sorry always had a good come back for that one (  when asked what am I on ) well can`t work and talk so remember where you started
Parent - - By jrw159 (*****) Date 04-16-2009 12:36
Yep, that one was popped on me when I was first starting out in the oil field. Same old man told me this one.

He said, "Son, do you like me?" I said, "Well I have only worked for you two days now, and have not made up my mind yet." He said, "Well don't start to like me because liking leads to loveing and loveing leads to f**king, and you ain't gonna f**k me boy!"

He was pretty straight forward, and you never had to wonder what he thought because he would straight out tell you. LOL

jrw159 :-)
Parent - - By gatorofarkansas (*) Date 04-16-2009 13:17
That`s a good one and a heck of lot better than trying to guess what to expect. Has this one come up,why you standing there we are still doing the same thing we did yesterday but different. My answer was "do what?" we was doing tie-ins and sat for 6 hours now we are still waiting what`s different? Then was told to go help them get this tie-in ready so my welder could take a nap. LOL
Parent - - By jrw159 (*****) Date 04-16-2009 13:28
Kind of a funny story behind the "UP TEN" as well. I was doing inspection on a line in CO and the welder had a newbie helper that I am quite sure was a tweaker. The welder was doing a tie in and the helper comes over and stands next to me and starts rattleing his head. About this time the welder calls out "UP TEN" there is a pause and nothing from the helper. The track hoe spotter says "UP TEN" and still nothing. By this time the helper is not talking any more and he is just kind of staring off into the feild. Spacer hand says "UP TEN" still nothing. I turn and pretty loudly right in his ear say "UP TEN" and this helper just about jumps out of his skin, runs over and turns him up. He then proceeds to tell me that I do not have to yell. I said I did need to yell as this is the fourth time somebody called it out and your still standing there with your head up your ass. LOL He was the same helper I caught banging a grinding disk against this welders nicely painted Texas symbols to put notches in the edge of it so it would "grind better". He almost cried when I told him to stop that stupid crap. I informed him that he was just begging for an exploded disc and if it happened around me as a result of it he would best case scenario be a ROMF, and worse case, if it hurt me, well thats for off the ROW. :-) FNG's, you gotta watch them and teach them right.
Parent - - By raftergwelding (*****) Date 04-16-2009 14:55
i was on a job once back in the late 80's and got a new helper never saw a welding rod in his life or hung iron for that matter. i messed with him all day 1st sent him to the tool room for a can of arc start the tool room guy told him he was out lol then sent him for a cloud chain the tool room guy told him the pipe fitters had it so he went to their tool room they told him the boiler makers had it so he went there they told him the carpenters had it etc. etc. he came back 3 hours later and said it was out lol so i told him go get me a sky hook once again gone for hours to come back and say it was out lmao. poor kid walked his a$$ off that day and he carried a big ol playmate lunch box i couldnt resist so i got some pipe dope and put it on the bottom of the handle lunch time came and he got that stuff all over him trying to get it off all in good fun to me lol the next day he was working with someone else his request foreman told me to lighten up and we both laughed our a$$es off
Parent - - By JHarlos (**) Date 04-22-2009 01:45
WHAT HE77! PAY ATTENTION! I  said up ten. hdfks fjhf bruruufc and a few other choice words.
Parent - - By raftergwelding (*****) Date 04-22-2009 02:39
How about this 1; I bet you 5.00 you cant bent this hand full of lo hi rods behind your neck lmao
Parent - - By 250pipeliner (**) Date 04-22-2009 03:44
hot or cold? bet my helper will do it with the hot ones!
Parent - By raftergwelding (*****) Date 04-22-2009 03:46
take a video and post it i'd pay 5 to see that
Parent - - By raftergwelding (*****) Date 04-22-2009 03:48
they tried pulling that trick on me when i was helping they got upset when i told them i knew what would happen and started trying the sky hook and cloud chain and arc start i guess i just looked dumb and yes John (jrw159) i know i still do haha beat ya to it
Parent - - By jrw159 (*****) Date 04-22-2009 12:22
Damn! Your quick too. LOL
Parent - By raftergwelding (*****) Date 04-22-2009 16:29
ya gotta be quick around this crowd
Parent - By gatorofarkansas (*) Date 04-17-2009 11:05
Speaking of tweakers, heard a tie-in foreman gettin` all in one of his labor hands butt. He told him to go get that frickin` hoe operator so he could help transition a fitting, when he got back he said now rig him up so we can stretch that fitting we all about fell into the bell hole laughing when the labor hand said are`nt we going to need two hoes. Foreman looked at him trying not to crack up and said well go get one and hurry we have to finish this tie-in to get paid. That guy took off running down the right-a-way, never did see him again LOL Now most of us know BBQ grills are a common site on a tie-in crew so this new helper thought ( yes he had a thought ) he would bring in a microwave the next day. When he broke that thing out you could here a pin drop, the welder asked him what do you plan on doing with that? "Well, thought I would warm up my pizza". "Welder asked him,so where do you plan on plugging it in" ? Of course he thought for a second and then started walking toward his welding rig and said " I`ll just plug it into your welder". Next thing I knew the welder yelled no the hell you ain`t I think you better get the f##k away from my welder ( sa 200 ), thought the boy was going to cry. Regardless to say his nickname now is "microwave" LOL
Parent - - By scrappywelds (***) Date 04-15-2009 20:46 Edited 04-15-2009 20:54
I had an ex-stripper helper once. That was one GOOD outage. Ofcouse for us TIG hands, Turn my torch regulator up and purge down. Stand right here and block the breeze. a good trick to do is give the helper some purge tape and tell them to get it wet but not to break it so it sticks better. For the non-TIG hands out there it dissolves when wet  HAHA.
Parent - - By johnnyh (***) Date 04-15-2009 20:54
That's enough to turn a journeyman into a 'hole' watch.
Parent - - By Ateamhelper (*) Date 04-17-2009 21:09
OK OK thats all funny as hell i've heard it all and yes every bit  is true..... BUT the helper makes the welder.....lol
Parent - - By hogan (****) Date 04-17-2009 21:49
I get disappointed in our trade when I see how a typical welder treats there helper. None of these due's need to be paid, tell me what is learned. And we wonder why there is a shortage of people interested in our trade, just read this thread.
Parent - - By makeithot (***) Date 04-21-2009 16:57 Edited 04-24-2009 14:48
Alot of it may not need to be learned, but I think it teaches or to some degree inspires good work ethic and builds character if in fact you can't take the sarcasim or learn to stick up for yourself you may as well join the ranks of the rest of the panty waist that can't but in a good days work. Haveing said that, one should also be ready to lead by example, when I tell my helper/apprentice to do something and he thinks it is below his station in life. I first show him that #1.- I can still do it and #2.- I'm not asking him to do anything I am not prepared to do myself. If that in fact is not enough to motivate him then well, you know the rest of the story.
Parent - By DaveBoyer (*****) Date 04-22-2009 02:48
Nobody benifits by making an ass out of the newbie, but sometimes We just can't resist. I started the tool & die trade as an apprentice, have been the subject of pranks and played them on others. Everybody has to start out sometime, when You have a greenhorn helper YOU are going to be the one that makes that person into the helper You need. I agree that they need to be motivated to learn all they can and in a timely fashion. Perhaps they havn't got what it takes, or aren't to that stage in their life yet, there are always jobs in fast food...
Parent - - By jrw159 (*****) Date 04-22-2009 12:36
Hogan,
  I see two sides of this. I for sure can relate to your comments, but here are my thoughts on this subject. As long as it is in the "ribbing the new guy to see what he is all about in good fun" way, I am all for it and beleive it builds character, and hones ones common sense. However, when it is done spitefully, and in the "ride their dumb a** like a rented mule until they quit" frame of mind, it is totally uncalled for and unacceptable. I have seen both sides happen, but for the most part, it is just "all in good fun".

I would be very skeptical of someone who has alot of time in the industry who did not know some of these "greenhorn" tricks.

It happens in every industry out there. I would be willing to bet that there is not an entry level position out there in any field that does not have its harmless "greenhorn" pranks. It is all in the frame of mind.

jrw159
Parent - By gatorofarkansas (*) Date 04-22-2009 16:09
Now, this is a thought for a lot of helpers that work with/for experienced welders. Ever seen what a green welder goes through? This is what a lot of the sarcasm and dumba~~ comments prepare you for. This is of course that you plan on gettin` into this trade. Shoot if ya can`t handle a welder messin` with ya, you`ll never be able to handle a smarta~~ inspector or a spreadman that don`t like welders.LOL Believe me I`ve seen it. So buck up fellas and have some dam fun. By the way welders are unorganized and need a good helper to keep`em right. But if the welder is unemployed so are you.
Parent - - By lonewolf658 (*) Date 04-22-2009 01:26
Gentlemen, being new and what i will call a (grasshopper)since you guys doing the teaching.I read these comments and being one  of those so called  helpers at timesone can only say this.You get what you give ,if you cant,won't teach em they won't learn it from you ,so may not be of any good to you as well, a good helper is the offspring from a good welder.Just my 2 cents  from the bottom of the pile.Yes i learned about hunting for a skyhook as well :)
Parent - - By texasrigwelder (**) Date 04-22-2009 03:09
you know you got a good one when he wont even let you atempt to help role up or put any thing in your tool box cause it wont be pretty or organized right, or wen he opens your toolbox lid cussing monday morning cause you were in it over the week end, and yes a helper makes a welder, i had a good one once and wen it was time all i had to ask him is if he had his runnin shoes on and knew wat he had to do
Parent - By 250pipeliner (**) Date 04-22-2009 03:54
its true we gots to teach helpers, but a lot of this business is common sense. a helper should be able to learn about 50% of the job entails in the first week(rolling out,up, how to work the remote fix your bucket w/rod, etc.) of course grinding is how the welder wants it and welders shud take their time in that aspect to teach how they want it done for them. i dont yell at my helpers, even when im pissed i just calmly reemed them a new one. and pass on that old timely sayin "if you aint gonna use your brain youd might as well have two a**holes". but yellen at helpers doesnt help them get better at all, a lot of guys just get apprehensive and mess up more.
Parent - - By JTMcC (***) Date 04-22-2009 03:57
Welders Helpers are like wives, get a good one and there's nothing like it. Get a bad one and there's nothing like it.

JTMcC
Parent - By darren (***) Date 04-24-2009 06:19
your wife obviously doesn't read this forum;)
darren
Parent - - By gatorofarkansas (*) Date 04-22-2009 11:22
Just remember we all have been or still are going thru this, not saying it is right and not that all welders do it but it happens. Also I have not broke out yet due to lack of work so cheer up and ask to be taught and watch closly when things are being figured out. Lack of interest on a helpers part is usually what leads to most of these things and yes some welders do get carried away with things. Besides this is supposed to be in fun. Now run and get that pipe stretcher grasshopper so we can transition this bore pipe. LOL
Parent - - By lonewolf658 (*) Date 04-22-2009 22:34
want me  bring the metal stretcher too??
Parent - By raftergwelding (*****) Date 04-23-2009 01:58
no but we do need a cloud chain
Parent - By JHarlos (**) Date 04-23-2009 01:59
I said 45! Now how many fingers am I holding up........um....4. Right, now how many................um ...5. you got it now put the dang box ON 45!
You do know you are the reason that I cant play my radio.
Sun block, what in the he**? just ut a bag over your sheild and help all of us out.
You think that pipe is going some where?  No, then get off your butt and run that dang grinder.

           And all of this just from today.
Parent - By gatorofarkansas (*) Date 04-23-2009 10:40
Well shoot hand, if ya knew we needed it why don`t ya have it ready to use. LOL
Parent - By sk8brbd110 (*) Date 04-23-2009 02:43
Im currently trying to get in the trade but right now Im a finish carpenter.  So i understand the bs that goes on when you start.  Sometimes its just uncalled for and sometimes i understand.  I always thought the harder i work the quicker the day goes so i never really had the standing around get to work speeches but i did screw up a quite a few times in the beginning.  I have no problem bsing me and what not but the secound someones screwing around with my work thats when im pounding somebodys head or its war.  But you guys have to remeber the secound you screw up and your green horn or whatever you call them catches it before you do it.  He will reem your ass.  And its got to be frustrating as hell for you.  So just remeber how bad you chew him out sooner or later he'll get ya and you should know better.
Parent - - By FixaLinc (****) Date 04-24-2009 06:09
All you need is a helper like this one :)

http://www.bush-whacker.com/images/ads/ads-built.jpg
Parent - - By DaveBoyer (*****) Date 04-24-2009 06:18
The spatter burns on Her belly & legs make Her sexy...
Parent - By vagabond (***) Date 04-24-2009 08:41
Man when I was a helper I thought my first name was p**F****r and the end of my right arm was a 9" grinder. . . . . and it didn't hurt me in the long run any.  I am not above cracking a helpers cojiones once and a while.  There is a fine art to it,  like being a drill sergeant.  There is no point in mollycoddling them because sooner or later someone is gonna push them out of the nest.  Just my opinion FWIW. . . . . You can be a decent person and still razz them a little.  They will get their own helper to razz someday, it all comes full circle.  Or they'll go back asking people if they want fries with that.  Just my .02.
Up Topic Welding Industry / General Welding Discussion / Meaning of a GOOD welder helper (for fun)
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