Check these out as well as my own interpretations of each one...
"Sex and politics are a lot alike. You don’t have to be good at them to enjoy them..." I mean, just look around!!! ;)
"It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class..." Really??? Is that why there's so many medical mistakes ;)
"Close doesn’t count in baseball. Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades..." One either wins or loses and nothing in between matters! ;)
"I have a feeling that when my ship comes in I’ll be at the airport..." This is when one feels that they are in the wrong place at the wrong time!!! ;)
"The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing. I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago. All through the sixties I tested everything..." Go ahead!!! At this age it wouldn't surprise me in passing!!! :) :) :)
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her..." A blessing in disguise that was unacknowledged! ;)
"If at first you don’t succeed, try try again. Then quit. No sense being a damn fool about it." If you repeatedly fail at something then regroup, and approach it from a different angle instead of acting as if you were losing your sanity!!! :) :) ;)
"The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a guy is lucky to get out of it alive..." Dying before your time of natural age is becoming harder to avoid lately!!! ;)
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes..." Self explanatory! That is unless the space between one's ears is non-existent... In other words; if you must be judgmental towards someone you don't know, it's always better to be as far away as possible from this person so that they understand the futility of hunting you down!!! :)
"To err is human; to pass air is also human..." In other words; "SH*T HAPPENS!!!" Then one farts to their heart's content. :) :) :)
Respectfully,
Henry