I think we should mention architects in this discussion. In order to understand their way of thinking, we must first look at what they have to go through, just so they can be called an architect. For example, here's a list of subject matter on their final exam:
1. Design: God, in the Old Testament, had six days in which to design the world. They have two hours, and they have to refine, correct, update, and edit this design.
2. History: They have to propose a hypothesis that encompasses the entirety of architectural history, including specific examples to support their thesis. They have ten minutes and cannot use more than one blue book.
3. Technics: With the materials provided for them (three straws, a package of sugar free gum, twine (3.5 feet), a mango, and 12' of sheet rubber), build a structural model of Notre Dame.
4. Design: In the space of a 10' square cube, they have to design, including adequate, AIA approved facilities, a day care center, a seminar room, a reception hall, and center for recovering claustrophobics.
5. Biography: They must redesign Le Corbusier.
6. Drafting: In a 3" square space in their book, they have to draw Chartres Cathedral, including all windows, doors, surface contours, and a small congregation protesting in front of the Western apse. This drawing must be referential in nature, but must include enough detail so that a scale model could be accurately built from it.
7. Rendering: They must draw, in four-point perspective (including the time axis), the existance of the Villa Rotunda from 10:00 am on Wednesday, October 21, 1926 to 3:21 pm on Monday, June 5, 1984, including the Villa's location in relation to the rest of the universe. For extra credit, they can plot the trajectory of the Villa Rotunda through the known universe for the next hundred years, including illustrations of the Villa in three different projections, as seen from Alpha Centauri. If this plotting ends before the 100 year span with the Villa engulfed in the heart of a star, they must continue to plot the trajectory of the remains.
8. Theory: Space. They must create it, and be prepared to hand it in with their exam.
9. Studio: They must chronicle the effects of caffeine upon the nervous system over the course of five days of wakefulness, while graphically illustrating the loss of any body mass as a result of cutting board.
10. Design: Without reproducing any of their works, or incorporating any of their ideas as precident, the potential architects must design a lunatic asylum for Le Corbusier, Mies van der Rohe, Rietveld, and Frank Lloyd Wright, while keeping in mind that the inmates will likely attempt to kill each other. and provide for this contingency.
For their bonus question, they must define the blue book's role in the spatial refinement and structural development of French Gothic cathedrals.
Once they become architects and get out in the real world, they begin to speak a different language, and common terminology takes on new meaning:
* Sense of Entry: The front door is big and far away.
* Human Scale: less than 400 feet tall.
* Skewed Grid: The design looked too boring with a regular grid.
* Contextual: Is surrounded by a lot of other buildings the architect couldn’t tear down.
* Theoretical: Nobody in their right mind would ever consider building the crazy thing.
* Signature Building: You can’t afford it.
* Less Is More: The designer ran out of ideas.
* International Style: No country will take responsibility for it.
* Deconstructivist: The backhoe ran into it during construction - and they liked it.
* Jury: Firing squad.
* Design Review Board: Failed architecture majors.
* Architecture Student: Egotistical masochist with no money.
* Contractor - A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal!
* Bid Opening - A poker game in which the losing hand wins.
* Low Bidder - A contractor who is wandering what he/she left out.
* Engineer's Estimate - The cost of construction in Heaven.
* Completion Date - The point at which liquidated damages begin.
* Liquidated Damages - A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.
Is it any wonder that we have problems with architectural drawings? Especially, when an owner submits his vision in the form of a letter to the architect, such as this one:
Dear Mr Architect,
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion.
My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)
Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator.
To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make.
Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.
While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has.
I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the final cost.
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes.
You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.
PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.
PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.
Yours Truly,
Mr Tom Mindchange