Psychology 101

If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold water. After a while another monkey makes an attempt with same result ... all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water.


Pretty soon when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away.

Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.


The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs.


To his shock, all of the other monkeys beat the snot out of him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys, replacing it with a new one.  The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked.


The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment... with enthusiasm.

Then, replace a third original monkey with a new one, followed by a fourth, then the fifth.  Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs.


Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, none of the monkeys will  try to climb the stairway for the banana.


Why, you ask?  Because in their minds... that is the way it has always been!

This, my friends, is how Congress operates... and is why, from time to time, all of the monkeys need to be REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME

Well, I'm a little confused by the "bread wafer purchases", but the punchline is quite funny, and new to me (considering there aren't many circumcision jokes I haven't heard).
Usually, the punchline is that the Mohel saves them and sews them into wallets, which when rubbed turn into a suitcase.

On christmas morning a cop on horse back is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "nice bike you got there did santa bring that to you?"
The kid says "ya!" "well, next year tell santa to put a tail light on that bike!"  The cop starts writing the kid a 20$ violation ticket and before the cop rides off the boy says. "Thats a nice horse did santa bring that to you?"
The cop grins and says, "Yeah he sure did." The boy then says, "Well next year tell santa to put the d!ck underneath the horse instead of on top!"

What does bunjie jumping and hookers have in common?
They both cost 100$ and if the rubber breaks your screwed!

Sorry, but I can't help being Politically Incorrect

In a local sports bar trivia quiz the other night, I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair?  Apparently, it's Africa .

One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Mexicans and African Americans is not the correct answer.

I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

A new Muslim clothing shop opened here in Pittsburgh , but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools


Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on FaceBook. I said "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4000 Muslims have added me as a friend!!

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk ... "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.”

The red cross knocked at my door asking if I could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said I would love to, but my hose only reaches the bottom of the driveway.