1.  Scope:

1.1.  This guide may be used to establish the necessary controls, tools, and methodology for Goat Roping on a large capital project. It is not to be confused or inferred as a replacement for the F series procedures, but does incorporate some of the same methodology as found in the reference material. No goats shall be harmed or otherwise have their rights infringed upon by use of this procedure.

2.  References:

o  SGESF 2012: Standard guide for establishing severity levels of F**ed up.
o  FC 2008 2012 addenda: Farm Code.
o  GWSP 1.0 Rev 2,000,120,000: Government Work Standard Practices.
o  GRSP 101 Rev 5: Goat Raising Standard Procedure.
o  SGRRM 2.0: Standard Goat Roping Rope Manufacturing.
o  SGR-TCP 2012 edition: Standard Goat Rope Certification Procedure.
o  GRG10 2011 Summer 2012 ed.: Goat Rodeo Guidelines.

3.  Equipment:

3.1.  All ropes utilized in this procedure shall be manufactured to SGRRM 2.0 or equivalent.

3.2.  All goats to be roped shall be certified as produced with FC 2008 2012 addenda, or GRSP 101 Revision 5, or as a minimum as established by GWSP 1.0

4.  Personnel:

4.1.  Any person may qualify and certify to this procedure who meets one or more of the following conditions:

4.1.1.  Has been promoted to their next level of incompetence.

4.1.2.  Lacks the common sense generally given to, and attributed to a mule.

4.1.3.  Meets the criteria for cluster F*** as defined in SGESF 2012.

4.1.4.  Has been educated to the level of professional engineer but lacking experience.

4.1.5.  Any person or entity designated to provide services they are not qualified for.

4.1.6.  Others may qualify depending on assessment by the Goat Roping manager.

5.  Procedure:

5.1.  Establish as found conditions based on input from personnel qualified in section 4 of this procedure under the conditions of SGESF and or GRG10. If conditions are established to have meet referenced guides and personnel requirements, the following shall apply:

5.1.1.  Personnel shall be issued a goat rope in accordance with SGRRM.
Note:
•  If conditions are meet for a Goat F*** the goat rope shall have two feet removed from its length.
•  If conditions are meet for a Goat Rodeo, the goat rope shall have four feet removed from its length for every eight goats to be roped, except where the number of goats would necessitate cutting more goat rope than established as the standard length of Goat rope in SGRRM. In those cases the conditions shall be graduated to FUBAR as defined in SGESF 2012.

5.1.2.  Personnel attempting to rope goats shall be adequately lubricated to prevent the use of common sense.

5.1.3.  The number of goats shall be counted by the goat rope manager to establish the conditions as found in paragraph 5.1 of this procedure, except where conditions are obviously a goat rodeo, in which case the goat roping manager is considered a participating person and source of condition.

5.1.4.  Goats shall be roped in the most inefficient manner possible. If the total goats related to the problem at hand can be roped by a standard goat rope within fifteen minutes, then the number of managing goats shall be increased exponentially until they meet the criteria for this procedure or that of GRG10 goat rodeo whichever is deemed worse by the lead goat rope technician.

5.1.5.  Stump breaking of Goats shall be prohibited unless the goat roping technician is from Alabama. In the event the technician is from Alabama, all personnel other than the Alabama technician shall also wear a chastity belt to prevent in-advertent stump breaking by said Alabama technician.

5.2.  Documentation:

5.2.1.  Documentation in the form of any photographic, video, or audio is prohibited. What happens at the goat rodeo stays with the goat rodeo.

personally im waiting for the standard guide for cat herding 1.1     I could definately use a code book for dealing with some fellers.