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Up Topic Chit-Chat & Non-Welding Discussion / Off-Topic Bar and Grill / If you are having a bad day, READ THIS !!!!!
- - By Cactusthewelder (*****) Date 03-05-2013 18:34 Edited 03-05-2013 22:43
I LOVE MY JOB

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to radio station 103 .5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.
Read his letter below...

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.  As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.

It's a wet suit.

This time of year the water is quite cool, so what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000.00 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until, all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.

His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't **** for two days because my ass was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!!

Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Parent - - By Mikeqc1 (****) Date 03-05-2013 21:15
funny
Parent - By Superflux (****) Date 03-05-2013 23:05
Got a Portugese Man-o-war on my "sack" and near the brown eye zone one time in Galveston years ago. Fortunately "little john" managed to evade contact!!!
I'm just glad I was able to do the sand treatment and didn't get it rubbed internally like this poor fella did.
My wife couldn't stop laughing and giggling at me all the way home as I scratched, rubbed and squirmed and mostly stood on my heels in the truck. Ever try working a clutch when in burns like he!! to sit down??
Pretty funny when you look back on it, but I sure wasn't seeing the humor of it at the time....
Parent - By unclematt (***) Date 03-06-2013 22:10
Hello;
That would sucks. Funny story though.

Have a good one;
Matt
Parent - - By gndchuck (**) Date 03-07-2013 01:29
I know the guy who actually wrote that piece, he wrote it to his sister as a joke.  It does happen sometimes and it one of the worst itches that you can imagine.
Parent - By 803056 (*****) Date 03-08-2013 21:09
The pain!

Al
Up Topic Chit-Chat & Non-Welding Discussion / Off-Topic Bar and Grill / If you are having a bad day, READ THIS !!!!!

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