Towards the end of a round of
   golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a
  patch of pretty, yellow
  buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in
  play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in
  the patch.

All of a sudden? POOF! In a
  flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman
  appeared. She said, 'I'm Mother
  Nature!  Do you know how long it took me to make those
  buttercups? Just for doing what you have
  done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the
  rest of your
  life...

Better still, you won't
  have any butter for your toast for the rest of your
  life.... As a matter of fact, you'll
  never have any butter for anything for the rest of your
  life!' Then POOF!... she was
   gone!

After Dave recovered from the
  shock, he hollered for his friend, 'Fred,where are
  you?' Fred yells back 'I'm
  over here in the pussy
  willows.' Dave shouts back,
  'DON'T SWING, Fred!… FOR THE LOVE OF GOD,
  DON'T  SWING!'        =          

Have a good one;
Matt