Not logged inAmerican Welding Society Forum
Forum AWS Website Help Search Login
Up Topic Welding Industry / General Welding Discussion / welders wife here with a question
- - By sjkelly328 (**) Date 06-19-2007 17:35
My husband has just started pipelining and is currently about 2 hours from home and is able to come home on the weekends. This is working for us now but he is wanting to start traveling and I am having mixed emotions about going with him only for the fact that we have a 4 year old starting school next year. I want to go with him because we want to be together. But I am wondering how it will affect our child/ future children. Can some of you long time pipeliners give me some advice. Did your family travel with you? If so how did the school thing work? We were thinking I might be able to homeschool but we didn't know how that would affect her socially?
Thanks for taking the time to read and any advice is greatly appreciated.
Parent - - By RonG (****) Date 06-19-2007 19:26
No regrets here.
We traveled and worked all over the US with 3 daughters until they got to High School. They enjoyed the adventure of new places and new faces considerably.

My daughters are grown and 2 have there own families. They all finished school and have are well balanced. They still enjoy talking and bragging to there friends about all the great places they have been to and things they have seen and done.

I believe the child will do just fine if the parents do.
Parent - - By sjkelly328 (**) Date 06-19-2007 20:22
Thanks RonG. One question. Did ya'll homeschool while they travelled with you or did they switch from school to school?
Parent - By RonG (****) Date 06-20-2007 16:09
School to school and that was B4 the internet. Thinks are a lot easer now days.
Parent - By DaveBoyer (*****) Date 06-20-2007 02:22
I havn't met any welder families to describe, but for most of a 12 year period I lived aboard and cruised on My sailboat. I met plenty of families that homeschoold the kids, and for most of them it worked well. The major exceptions were parents with ADD trying to homeschool kids with ADD. Those kids were generally uncooperative as schooling takes about 4-5 hours per day and they had attention spans in minutes, and the parents didn't have the attention span or fortitude to MAKE it work. In the cruising community the childern got allong well with each other over a pretty great age group and with adults as well.
Parent - By billvanderhoof (****) Date 06-20-2007 03:55
Children are wonderfully adaptable.  There is a lot to be learned in traveling.  They will make friends, probably with a lot more adults than they would in a regular school situation but I don't think thats a bad thing.  My opinion now but I don't believe a class of same age children is a very natural situation anyway, the groups children form spontaneously vary much more in age.  It takes a long time to grow an adult anyway, if you feel things aren't going well you can change strategy then.  They say you learn half of everything you will ever know by the time you start kindergarten so you're half done allready.

Good luck
Bill
Parent - - By dbigkahunna (****) Date 06-20-2007 13:10
I have been doing this for 20 plus years. My wife and I have been married for going on 18. One thing we have ALWAYS done is talk. Every night. 30 to 45 minutes. How many people living in the same house talk that much. She came as a package deal with 2 kids. She had a good job with the GOV. when we got married. We spent as much time together as we could. As a minimum she traveled every 3 weeks to where I was. During the summer she would spend 2-3 weeks with me and usually my son would stay the rest until school would start. We kid each other if we can live together. But she trust me and I trust her. She keeps the bills paid and I send the checks home. Due to her part, we raised 2 kids, paid for 2 houses and have set enough aside for a good retirement. But we both believe the secret to our success is talking. I know guys who will call home every 2 weeks. They usually have a road wife and 2-3 ex-wives back home.
If you are wanting to travel, I would recommend getting a nice travel trailer and becoming a gypsy. Moving around is tougher on you than the kids. When the youngsters get close to high school, get them where you want to call home. They need to do the high school thing in one place. If you and hubby cannot make it with him on the road and you at home, one of you better work on the " You need a buggy" thing or you will get to know a divorce lawyer.
My wife and I think this is fun. She was raised in a cotton field in west Texas and had never been anywhere in her life. After 18 years, she cannot say that. What is kinda strange, neither of the kids likes to travel! But the wife is like our old poodle. Say go and her tail starts waggin.
BABRT's
Parent - - By Erik Irvine (*) Date 06-20-2007 14:14
dbigkahunna, haha what a good honest reply, I enjoyed reading your post and I am sure the welder's wife will appreciate your honesty.
Parent - By makeithot (***) Date 06-20-2007 16:38
I have spent the better part of my carreer on the road and in some years spent as little as 40 days at home. My wife did not travel with me as this was not possiple in a lot of cases as I was out of the country and traveling with with children was not always fesable. Trust comes to mind and we did speak on a regular basis. Time spent away from home and watching the kids grow up was a sacrifice in my mind that has payed off in a big way, both my children excell in school and my daugther is a year ahead and is graduating next year ,the wife and I still get along great and when we're sitting on the deck watching the sun go down over an ocean view with snow capped mountains in the back ground I can't help but think all those miles where worth it, I can by no means say it was easy and my hats off to the wife as not many women put up with their husband being away from home that much , one has to keep their eye on the prize so to speak. I can't say that this would work for everyone as I know lots of guys that have not been so lucky. In the diving industry we used to say thats why divers are listed in the phone book between Distillery and divorce.
Parent - By chris2698 (****) Date 07-11-2007 05:03
dbigkahunna dude I really enjoyed your story.

Thanks for everyones comments I am 27 years old and am not married and have no kids but it is nice to hear the stories of traveling pipe welders. I am a stainless Tig welder in a shop right now and it is pretty nice and clean work and I've been thinking is a shop like this for me or would I rather hit the road someday and make more money. They say money isn't everything but for what I make it is kinda everything right now when you don't make much. You all are absolutely right not all welders can handle the road it is very tuff out there only maybe working 8 or 9 months out of the year or maybe less and not sure when work will end or start back up. I think I may like it because I like to travel and see the world. Thanks for your comments.
Take care,

Chris
Parent - - By Sourdough (****) Date 06-21-2007 17:05
My wife and 6 month old boy travel with me when I can't be home for a week or more. We don't have to worry about school yet, but I think it would be more detrimental to a kid if his papa were always gone, than having to be homeschooled.  My father and I never got to know each other until late in life, when I had my own family. Life is good now, but I hated his guts for years and years, because he was always gone.......
Parent - By makeithot (***) Date 06-21-2007 23:00
SD, point taken. I avoided that issue by bringing the the kids on holiday to some of the nicer locals.Some times together or by themselfs and spoke to them every chance I got .
Parent - By CWI555 (*****) Date 06-21-2007 20:38
My wife and son (2 years old) travel with me for any contract over 4 weeks. I've been around the world several times, and parts of L.A. (lower Alabama).
Communications and honesty therein are key. Even the small silly things, the little white lies most tell, we do not. transparency is the word I was looking for.
There comes a time with any couple that have been less than honest in all things with each other that they find themselves on different paths, some make
it back to each other, some do not, the later being the ones who end up in divorce. I think if you really love each other and stick to the transparency theory,
there isn't anything any given couple could not surmount except death itself.
We home school and plan to continue until he's 13. After that we'll settle to one place, so that he can get the social value. It's a give and take thing.

For what it's worth, thats my opinion and experience.
Regards,
Gerald
Parent - - By downhandonly (***) Date 06-22-2007 11:56
Your husband is lucky he gets to come home on the weekends! lol I just spent three months away last winter. but then I had two months off in the spring to catch up around the house which is usually the case with pipeliners, we don't work 12 months of the year. I have three kids 9,4,10months and they all are fine so far. We have lived in Nova Scotia, Northwest Territories, and Alberta and my oldest child does fine at any school. Most importantly your husband has to stay away from the losers on the line there are alot of crack heads and hardcore alcoholics in this type of work. stay clean! later
Parent - By ArchMyHeart Date 07-05-2007 12:47
I would like to thank all of you for your honest responses.  I agree that honesty is by far a VERY important aspect in this type of relationship. I have been dating a pipewelder for sometime now.  Mostly, I have been able to see him on the weekends or he was within 2-3hr driving distance. 
I dread the "months" of being seperated.  I can only imagine how tough that will be.  We do not have children together.  He has a 4 yr old child by a previous marriage and I have been raising my 11 yr old niece since she was three. He wants more children and I would like to have one of my own.  However, I fear how a child might further complicate things. Is this a natural fear or a geniune concern?  He vows to take leave from work to help me with the baby for 6 months.  However, I think about the long term.  School activities, sports, holidays...how hard is it to remain so far apart at times when other families are together?   
Parent - - By momonthego (*) Date 07-09-2007 21:16
My huband is also a welder a rig welder at that...his dad was a welder for years his brother as well...I guess you can say it runs in the family! My husband travelled although our four children only travelled once that was to Colorado & Nebraska...........He said he did not want to put our children through it.....he would get settled in a school then they would move again. I would say if he travels go with him if not he needs to get a job in the local area. I have to say my husband works for his money unlike these men that work in a air comditioned office they would know nothing about hard labor. I have also taught my children to appreciate the fact that there dad does work hard for his hard earned money! My son is wanting to be a welder as well but my husband does not want teach him.........maybe only for the fact that he will know not to make a living though. A man being away from his family is just more of a way for the devil to tempt him....so whatever you decide for it is ultimately your decision just know the construction world is not a pretty place for everyone. My husband does not drink but has tried to be pursuaded many times to do things he ought not to do! To a welder's wife from a welder's wife speaking from experience!
Parent - - By billvanderhoof (****) Date 07-10-2007 02:36
I'm guessing but if you were told by your husband of these temptations that indicates that they were unsucessful.  I think you have a good man.
Bill
Parent - - By momonthego (*) Date 07-11-2007 02:46
Yes I do believe in my heart of hearts I have a good man! It was only by the grace & mercy of the Lord he has got us this far......we were young when we got married......we have had our battles...I have had my battles that is just something I am willing to fight for & not let the devil win!!!!!!! Thanks for your comment........
Parent - - By Sourdough (****) Date 07-11-2007 15:59
I'm a firm believer of magazine subscriptions, if you know what I mean.......
Parent - - By momonthego (*) Date 07-16-2007 18:08
I would like to know what your remark met in regarding what this topic is "welder's wife here with a question".................
Parent - - By Sourdough (****) Date 07-16-2007 19:44
A man needs an outlet. Better with a magazine than with the real thing...........
Parent - - By momonthego (*) Date 07-16-2007 19:48
WELL I CANNOT AGREE WITH THAT CAUSE THE BIBLE SAYS THAT IF A MAN LOOKETH UPON A WOMAN HE HAS ALREADY COMITTETH ADULTERY IN HIS HEART ALREADY................SO NO THAT IS WRONG BUT THAT IS MY OPINION
Parent - - By Sourdough (****) Date 07-16-2007 19:50
Ohhhhhh boy.........some of us know not what we do........
Parent - - By momonthego (*) Date 07-16-2007 20:17
WE DO KNOW WHAT WE DO..........ISAIAH35:4 SAY TO THEM THAT ARE OF A FEARFUL HEART, BE STRONG, FEAR NOT: BEHOLD, YOUR GOD WILL COME WITH A VENGEANCE, EVEN GOD WITH A RECOMPENSE; HE WILL COME & SAVE YOU. ONCE YOU START LOOKING AT THE PICTURES YOUR HEART WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED & WANT & DESIRE MORE..............LET ME GUESS YOU ARE THE TYPE THAT GOES TO STRIP CLUBS AS WELL????????? PROVERBS 4:25 LET THINE EYES LOOK RIGHT ON, AND LET THINE EYELIDS LOOK STRAIGHT BEFORE THEE. I SAMUEL 16:7 BUT THE LORD SAID UNTO SAMUEL, LOOK NOT ON HIS COUNTENANCE, OR ON THE HEIGHT OF HIS STATURE; BECAUSE I HAVE REFUSED HIM HIM: FOR THE LORD SEETH NOT AS MAN SEETH; FOR MAN LOOKETH ON THE OUTWARD APPEARANCE, BUT THE lORD LOOKETH ON THE HEART. YOU SEE THIS IS WHY THESE DAYS THERE ARE SO MANY WOMEN BEING RAPED & BRUTALLY ATTACKED BECAUSE THERE IS LACK OF RESPECT FOR WOMEN.......NOT ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT BUT YOU MEN DO NOT SEEM TO SEE IT THAT WAY..........I WILL PRAY FOR YOU THAT THE LORD WILL SHOW YOU THE RIGHT WAY..........DO YOU HAVE A WIFE IF YES DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT THIS? I AM SURE IF SHE HAS BEEN RAISED WITH MORALS THIS WOULD BOTHER HER AS WELL..........
Parent - - By Sourdough (****) Date 07-16-2007 20:25 Edited 07-16-2007 20:27
My wife goes to the clubs with me...........

As Larry the cable guy would say..."Lord, I apologize for that one"...............
Parent - - By momonthego (*) Date 07-16-2007 20:50
WELL GOOD FOR HER.......... I AM GLAD I AM MARRIED TO A GOOD MAN OR MY SELF--ESTEEM WOULD DROP........HE IS HAPPY WITH ME & WANTS TO LOOK AT ME ONLY..........I AM GLAD I CAN MAKE MY HUSBAND PROUD.........YOU BOTH WILL EVENTUALLY GET TIRED OF LIVING THAT LIFE & GET TO THE POINT IS THIS ALL THERE IS TO LIFE.............I WANT TO BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL FOR MY CHILDREN. I WILL PRAY FOR BOTH OF YOU FOR I KNOW THERE IS A GOD IN HEAVEN UP ABOVE LISTENING & HE IS AN ALL SEEING EYE. HE DIED ON THE CROSS FOR ALL OUR SINS.......JOHN3:16 FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH ON HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE. ANYTIME YOU NEED A PRAYER I WILL DO IT.
Parent - By hogan (****) Date 07-16-2007 21:57
please stop
Parent - By chris2698 (****) Date 07-17-2007 05:02
oh my god dang bible beeters please stop.

Sourdough I have to say you're very lucky to have a woman who will go to all the clubs with you thats kinda rare.
it's sad people are so stuck in there own little world.
Parent - - By RonG (****) Date 07-17-2007 20:13
Well I know one thing for sure. When I get to Hell I will be in good company.
Parent - - By momonthego (*) Date 07-20-2007 03:41
To All I want to apoligize for not keeping it on the topic.......but I am not going to apoligize for the scripture up above that is God's Holy Word but I will keep it on the welding related topic's..........apoligize once again hopefully all will find it in your heart to forgive???
Parent - - By hogan (****) Date 07-20-2007 13:10
as the only self canonized member of aws i forgive you
Parent - - By ssbn727 (*****) Date 07-20-2007 20:53 Edited 07-22-2007 06:29
Hi Hogan
I kind of suspected that but as the old saying goes, I did'nt want to cast the first stone for I have previously sinned so, I could'nt come outright, and curse you into damnation :) "Just Kidding!!!"
Btw Dave, Sorry Dave :) Edited: I meant "Hogan"... How does one get to do just that? ;) I mean it sure does sound cool to be "self canonized" :) :) ;)
As a follower of our lord Jesus Christ, one has to remember to forgive, and as one -I forgive you!!!

Respectfully,
Henry
Parent - - By CWI555 (*****) Date 07-21-2007 18:26 Edited 07-21-2007 18:28
I distinctly recall adulterers, murderers, prostitutes, and nearly every other form of sinner being forgiven. Which is a good thing for most of us. I also recall passages to the effect of "cast ye the first stone he who is without sin". "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil". "whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet." "Judge not, that ye be not judged"

It's amazing to me the number of people that call themselves Christian that forget those. Damning comes easy, forgiving is rarely easy. When a Christian spouts the scripture in a venomous manner, they have committed sin themselves in the doing. Say it once calmly, if they refuse to listen, shake off the dust as directed. You have the right of Henry, "one has to remember to forgive".

Speaking for myself, I need that reminder now and then, as do others I believe.

Regards,
Gerald
Parent - By jon20013 (*****) Date 07-24-2007 01:08
Brilliantly cited Gerald, as always!  Perhaps another reason I choose not to attend church... hard to swallow the self-rightious, holier than thou folks, not all are that way by any means, but still difficult for those of us who fully realize we're mere mortals...
Parent - By hogan (****) Date 07-23-2007 22:02
my world is quite amazing.

St. Hogan
Parent - - By makeithot (***) Date 07-21-2007 18:12
Good on ya SD, Fortunatly the wife and I go everywhere together as well. But My Dad told me as I was growing up that " It matters not where you get your appetite as long as you still go home for dinner" I'd have to say that if looking at women which I'm sure is every honest mans favorite past time is consdererd adultery then we are all most certinally going straight to hell. And I'm thinking that if god had not intented for use to look at em he would not have made them so good to look at.
Parent - By Sourdough (****) Date 07-23-2007 20:21
Knew you guys would come to my rescue!!
Parent - By jp2welder (**) Date 07-12-2007 13:15
Just a short reply: Every kid with a parent in the military goes through this, because the military doesn't like one person being station in the same place for too long.

There are lots of army brats out there!
Parent - By JA (**) Date 07-21-2007 14:50
hay , he's a "pipeliner" , and thats what pipeliners do........
Parent - By Lapp Date 08-02-2007 18:03
Why don't you look into home schooling your child. I know alot of people that do and most graduate from HS with some college credits. This will allow your child to progress at his/her on pace. That way your family can stay together and you can set up your child to go online for some classes.
Up Topic Welding Industry / General Welding Discussion / welders wife here with a question

Powered by mwForum 2.29.2 © 1999-2013 Markus Wichitill