When I was younger, I wore glasses.  There was nothing wrong with my eyes.  It just stopped the other kids from punching me in the face.  Now I wear glasses out of necessity.  I first realized that I might have a vision problem when I grabbed a tube of Anusol and used it as toothpaste.  I knew something was up as I brushed my teeth and wondered what had happened to the minty taste.  Later on that day, I found myself complaining that something was wrong with the tv remote.  It wasn’t working, even after I shook it several times as I pointed it at the tv.  I became increasingly frustrated with it, and at one point, I started lightly banging it on the arm rest, hoping that might help.  I remembered that sometimes when the kids need batteries, they’ll take the batteries out of the remote.  I’d just finished putting two new ones into the remote when my wife walked in and told me that if I didn’t take them out, it might kill our pet hamster.  I thought it was a little strange when I put two the two AA batteries in the remote and it wiggled.  For a minute there, I thought I’d grabbed my wife’s vibrator by mistake.  Needless to say, I was somewhat relieved to find out it was just the kid’s hamster.