I tried to tell my wife that I wasn’t really interested in sitting through our daughter’s boring ballet recital.  She just laughed hysterically because evidently I pronounced it wrong.  “Hey genius", she snickered. “It's not pronounced “bal- ett”......you say “bal-‘ay”.  To make a long story short, she wasn't laughing when I hit her with my mallet......sorry……mal-'ay’. 
Ballet doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me anyway.  How can you stand beside a bar for an hour and not have a drink?  Seriously, I only learned to dance after I got married.  My wife had four daughters from a previous marriage and I was always waiting to use the bathroom.  I’ve gotten better at it over the last couple of years, and I can offer this tip to everyone...  If you're concerned that your dancing is crap, I think I’ve figured out why.  It may be a due to a specific chemical in your body called vodka.  “Dance like no one is watching”, they said.  “It’ll be fun”, they said.  So I did, and I ended up spending two days in the hospital because everybody thought I had epilepsy.  Note to self: moonwalking doesn’t involve dancing around with your butt exposed.  I think this quote says it all: 

“Just because you can't dance doesn't mean you shouldn't dance.” - Alcohol