I do have a few scars and I'm thinking about getting some more, because I’ve been told that women love a good scar on a man and that they think scars are sexy.  But for some reason, they’ve never been turned on by the big red circle on my forearm that came from repeatedly reaching into a can of Pringles.
 
You might have me beat in the scar department but I bet I have lesser teeth than you do.  I’ve never had any of my teeth knocked out, I just don’t like going to a dentist.  You know how most chairs in a dental office go up and down?  The one I was in went back and forth, which I thought was unusual, until the dentist walked in and told me to get out of the filing cabinet.  The last time I saw a dentist, he told me that I needed a prostate exam.  Now, I may not be the sharpest tool in the box, but I know that can’t be right, because it had only been a few weeks since he put me to sleep and gave me the last one.