I know you say that in jest, but what a lot of people don’t know is this.... dyslexia is one of the side effects of taking LDS. I'll never forget the day I was diagnosed with dyslexia. It was the 41st of April, 1892. I can't stand people laughing at my dyslexia any longer. Curing yourself of dyslexia should be as easy as ACB, but that’s easier done than said. I’m so sick of it I've just swallowed about a hundred pills and washed them down with a fifth and half of whiskey. Let’s see who’s laughing when I'm deaf. I know, I know…. when life gives you lemons, you’re supposed to make melonade. I'm not alone because 17 out of 4 people suffer from dyslexia. The thing is, dyslexics are teople poo, but let’s face it. Byslexia is a ditch. I hear the cruel jokes, like the one that starts off… a dyslexic man walks into a bra. Very funny. Excuse me, but life is though, it's even thougher if you're dyslexic. I guess I get it honest. My father was dyslexic. Any time I said a bad word, he would punish me by washing my mouth out with soup. I used to love that. Once at a family picnic I told my dad that my teacher said dyslexia is hereditary and that it was probably passed down to me from either him or my mom. His response was “That's ridiculous son. Now shut up and finish eating your waterlemon.” As I got older I couldn’t keep a girlfriend. The first girlfriend I ever had broke up with me after only two dates. Most girls like to be serenaded, so on our second date, I sang “me and you, sittin in a tree, K.I.F.D.R.V.P.”. She never called me back. She just left me a note that said “I'm leaving you because you're so stupid and so bigoted.” I wrote her a note too. It said “I'm not stupid, I'm just dyslexic, and I can't help it if I have big toes." Come to think of it, our first date didn’t go all that well either. We went to Blockbuster to get a movie. Evidently I wasn’t the only one devastated to find out they were all out of CopPorn. You should have seen the look on her face when I asked if they had any. In the end, I guess she just wasn’t my typo.