Thanks.  I do love a dog that doesn’t crap on my couch and on my floor.  Unfortunately, mine does.  I got home from work the other day.  As soon as I opened the door, I shouted to my wife “There’s dog crap in the hallway.”  “Mind your language” she replied, “My mother is over at the moment.”  “Yeah, I know.  “I just told you she’s in the hallway.”  And that’s how the fight started.  Whenever my wife and I have an argument, I feel like knocking the crap out of her.  I went to anger management therapy and the guy suggested I take the dog for a walk whenever my wife wants to argue with me.  I've worn out three dogs out in the last 10 months.  I was walking the dog one day and a policeman saw it crap on the sidewalk.  “You’re picking that up, right?” he said.  Of course, officer” I replied, reluctantly plopping the steaming crap into a bag.  When I got home, my wife asked “Why is there dog crap all over the shopping bag?” Then one day she yelled “That dog's crapped on the carpet again. I've had enough.  It's either me or the dog."  I'm guessing that it was the dog.  Her Alzheimer's cracks me up sometimes.  It's been nice here lately that there’s not much to pick up because the dog has been eating his own crap.  Anything to avoid eating my wife's leftovers.  The other day my dog was taking a crap in the park when I noticed a sign that said “Clean up after your dog”, which didn't make much sense to me, because if I wait for my dog to clean up first, there will be nothing left for me to clean.  As we were leaving, I noticed a dog running directly at a little girl.  The next thing I knew, she was lying on her back and the dog was on top of her.  My instincts kicked in and I immediately grabbed a huge stick, ran over, and beat the living crap out of the dog.  As I picked up the hysterical little girl, I said, ‘Are you okay?” “Of course not!” shouted her angry mother.  “You've just killed her chihuahua, you idiot!”