Henry,
She defended that accusation by stating "I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty". To paraphrase for the former first lady, "If the shoe fits, buy it". I don’t know about you, but I have yet to meet a woman who isn’t obsessed with shoes. Figuring out this obsession could very well unlock many of humanity's great mysteries. Psychology textbooks will tell you that men seek variety, while women seek stability. It’s therefore logical to assume that nature is trying to balance that out with shoes. When arguing about the utility of a shoe purchase, it is helpful for men to keep a simple mathematical relationship in mind. While only 38% own more than seven pairs of shoes, the average woman owns somewhere between a ton of shoes and a number of shoes so vast it has to wait for a scientific notation to be invented so that it can be expressed on paper. The average American woman owns 19 pairs, but still, 19 pairs? And about 1 in 12 admits to owning over 100 pairs of shoes. While men often don't get women's almost religious zeal for footwear, women often fail to grasp that men somehow inexplicably don’t even pay attention to their shoes at all. Shoes are easy for men to miss because they're as far away from the eyes as possible. When an attractive woman enters a room, I typically go for the eye contact first and then work my way down, unless I just happen to be standing under a flight of stairs and I accidentally look upwards, repeatedly. Otherwise, the path my eyes follow between a woman's eyes and her feet are loaded with bumps, curves, and several other detours. If my eye scan makes it to the knees too fast, that's usually a bad thing. This is what makes the female obsession with shoes so difficult to understand. I have one pair of steel toe boots, one pair of dress shoes, and one pair of tennis shoes. That's it. An attractive woman could just as easily win me over by wearing clown shoes over her hideously bulging hobbit feet. I don’t look at a woman's shoes, even when I accidentally drop change on the floor at the mall and I lie on my back to pick it up. Though, on the other hand, most women have a seemingly clairvoyant ability to see and appreciate a person's footwear, usually within milliseconds of seeing the person. This ability is so powerful, it apparently is unaffected by crowds, poor lighting, extreme distance, nakedness or the person in question entering the room while engulfed in flames, etc. For example, if a half naked android Brad Pitt walked into a food court firing an assault rifle, all women in the area would immediately notice, in the following order:
1. That he's wearing socks with sandals.
2. His pecs.
3. That he's randomly firing an assault rifle that intermittently shoots red, green, and orange lasers, and they could possibly be in extreme danger.
4. That the android Brad Pitt is essentially indistinguishable from the real one.
Thank you Hank. All 3 of mine were made before 2012, but I wonder what in the manufacturing process changed that makes these newer boots potentially fail, where mine won't?